Bushy, bad brows are on par with mom jeans: a facial frumpifier .
I know firsthand the challenges of full, frontal facial hair. Born with brows that are Frieda Kahlo with a side of Eddie Munster, “full” was an understatement. Some people always have breath mints stashed everywhere. I have tweezers. In the car, I peek in the vanity mirror to remove a gaggle of strays that have reared their wiry heads since breakfast. At work, while stroking my forehead in thought, I discover scary pube-like patches that have bloomed between my brows. And, then there is the Martini Tweeze; a post cocktail depilation that never ends well. Such evenings I am tempted to call Dr. Drew to implore the addition of a tweezer category to his rehab show.
The upside? Women gaze longingly at my full, well arched brows murmuring something about blessed DNA. Thick brows are a massive pain in the ass. But, At long last–through hard core plucking and primping – i have transformed my God given caterpillar brows into something resembling professionally groomed models in VOGUE. My wayward thicket of facial hair had been tamed.
Though the glossies have pronounced the thick Charlotte Gainsbourg-esque look au courant, we of the looming Unibrow, spend inordinate amounts of time plucking, trimming and praying that we don’t morph into Dr. Zaius of Planet of the Apes stature while we sleep at night.
So, how to morph Dr. Zaius-esque caterpillar brows into coiffure du jour? I employ the three ‘P’s: patience, product and professional help as needed.
To shellac wayward brows into well arched submission, slather on clear ULTA Brow gel
To keep create two definitive brows from one, invest in REVLON True Precision Tweezer
To maintain a groomed to-the-nines arch, use ANASTASIA brow stencils
To repair bald spots after a Martini Tweeze, keep ANASTASIA Brow Enhancing Serum on hand
Here’s what you need in your eyebrow arsenal: