Dear Kim Kardashian:
I feel badly that the media is skewering you for poor maternity choices. It’s hard to be pregnant, especially when you are short and curvy. Here’s the good news, I have some easy fashion fixes that can easily “bump up” your style. The key? Proportion and a flattering soft silhouette. I know that you favor structured pieces. But, these form fitting pieces are far too restrictive to flatter a pregnant body. Flowy, loose fitting garments- without definition of the shoulders and waist- are a better choice. Soft does not mean sloppy. Designers like Dries Van Noten, Issey Miyake, DKNK, Comme Des Garcons, Yohji Yamamoto and Zero+Maria Cornejo have made non structured garments a hallmark of their careers. These garments skim the body and create a more slouchy/sporty elegance.
10 Ways to BECOME A BUMP IT UP BABE
1. BOOBY TRAP
A loose bra does nobody any favors in the frump department. A bra should be a perfect balance of tension and support to supply the breast with lift and stability. Look in the mirror. If you see droop, it is time for a fitting and a new bra. Head into a department or lingerie store and get measured. Flawless fit will give you the coveted pertness of celebs and models. It’s all about lift.
2. ELONGATE. ELONGATE. ELONGATE.
Add verticality with a longer, open cardigan or dangly scarf. Choose darker colors which are more slimming. Choose long necklaces to lengthen the torso.
3. SHORT & SASSY
Shorter hemlines, especially for shorter women, accent the legs and add height.
4. DECOLLETAGE DRAMA
An open neckline-V, scoop or boatneck- slims explosive bust and gives the illusion of a longer neck.
5. GO FLOWY
To camouflage bottom heavinesss, create a column effect with wider boot cut jeans and dresses/skirts that flare outward. Avoid straight skirts and tapered pants.
6. BUILD YOUR EMPIRE
Start your love affair with the empire waist. This genius silhouette gathers under the breast and falls loosely to the hip, knee or floor covering bulging bellies and butts with cascading fabric. The empire waist also put the focus on the arms and shoulders, places where pregnancy weight does not manifest itself.
7. MEET THE A LINE
Narrow on the top, and flaring at the hemline this garment is designed to graze the midsection and makes one’s gams the focal point.
8. SEISMIC SHIFT
Channel Gidget. Or, my preggo icon Gwen Stefani, with the flirty old school shift. Cut straight from the shoulders and flowing away from the hips, this above the knee dress is easy to wear and disguises thickening thighs and other forms of bottom heaviness.
9. WEAR WOW FACTOR
Bold, beautiful baubles-long necklaces, neck grazing earrings and statement cuffs- define and refine a look. They also draw your audience’s attention away from your cellulite ridden rump to your incredible eye for detail.
10. GO TO JERSEY
Known for its breathability and ability to stretch with its wearer, jersey tops the preggo popularity charts because it is incredibly comfortable. And flattering. Somehow, jersey drapes perfectly over pregnancy bulges spotlighting the good and obscuring the nasty. Whether you work in an office, a classroom or a board room, this wrinkle free fabric is a best bet basic. Jersey comes in a variety of weights and blends so it is available year round.
And Kim, if you want a one-on-one styling session, just say the word.